A letter to my daughter

Dear Arianna,

As of today, you are thirteen and a half months old.  Ever since your birth, every day becomes so joyful and hopeful.   Your smile melts me.  Even a little response to my saying excites me.   You are literally a gift from God. 

Every parent more or less has some expectations to his/her child, I am no exception.  You do not have to have an extraordinary accomplishment nor a very successful career, but you must be a person with mercy, diligence and appreciation.   Please realize that wherever human exists, there are cruelty, competition, disappointment and lies, but there are also joy, hope and righteousness.  So possessing my mentioned qualities more likely lead you to a bright side of life, which is all I wish as a mother.   In fact, I didn’t understand the importance of this until after numerous learning from failures.  Thus, I hereto share my experiences and hopefully you can be inspired when grow up:

(1)    Knowledge is priceless.

If you do not put 100% effort in the study while you are a full-time student, I am 200% sure you will regret afterwards.  Knowledge might not make you rich, but it gives you wisdom to tackle problems and facilitates better decision making, which are undoubtedly essential to your daily life.  Learning is a life-time matter.  Even if you graduate from college, keep reading various kinds of books or take classes to enhance yourself intrinsically.  A knowledgeable person is always respected by others no matter where you are.  

(2)    Work hard but smartly.

I have seen too many people who work very “smartly” but without diligence.  These people often found short-cut to finish their errands.  In most cases, these qualities of work fulfill the basic requirements but are usually very superficial.  Perhaps one might think that this is unimportant, but daughter, let me tell you the truth, whoever looks at your work surely keeps in mind about every bit of effort that you put.  The life of a hard working person wouldn’t be too bad, but a both smart and diligence person is more likely to have a better life because such characteristics makes one more outstanding and charming among the ordinary group.  This doesn’t solely apply to your career development but also to your family.  Remember, your hard work will be rewarded, although sometimes it comes a bit late.  You just have to be patience.  There is no free lunch to success. 

(3)    Do not just focus on short-term reward.  Think ahead and plan further. 

Short term reward is often tempting and attractive, but sometimes, you might have to sacrifice a bigger future reward for it.  So when you encounter major decision making that could affect your future, always think twice.  Carefully evaluate your objectives and various options.  Then, plan ahead.  Of course, once you have planned your route, truly execute.     

(4)    Be responsible for your own finance.

One of my responsibilities is to nurture you to be an independent person.  As such, I financially support your daily living and studies until you are 22 years old.  At that time, my mission is complete and you are on your own.  Your father and I have been working very hard in our whole life to maintain a reasonably comfortable living.  By the time we pass away, we probably don’t have much leave to you.  So, do your very best to earn and save as much money as you can.  If we can be financially independent, so can you.  

(5)    Think 360⁰

These days we are overloaded with information from both traditional and digital media.  In many times, what you see and hear could be deceiving.  So, don’t just think in one direction as it could mislead you to wrong judgments.  Try to evaluate issues from different perspectives via various sources of information.  Then, think critically before making judgments.  When you manage to do this, you are more likely to become a rational person. 

(6)     When you are capable, help others but do not expect anything in return

Our society needs compassion.  During your journey, you more or less encounter with someone who need help.  Give these people a hand if you can, but do not expect anything in return.  More importantly, offer the help that is within your capability.  Offering help to the others that exceeds your capability is unwise, as no one pities you when things go wrong. 

(7)    Knowing when and how to compromise.

Many people often rant and moan.  In many cases, this is because they aren’t willing to compromise.  Particularly, young people reckon compromising is an act of cowardice.  In fact, knowing when and how to compromise is an art, which requires high level of wisdom, courage and emotional quotient.  My experience is that a “smart” compromise often leads to bigger room of future career development and better relationship between friends, colleagues and family.   Always keep in mind that there is no perfect solution but only optimal solution.  Whichever decision you make to the problem must contain both pros and cons.  If you can accept this reality, your life should be much easier and happier than those who cannot. 

(8)    No one is obliged to be nice to you. 

Do not take people’s kindness for granted.  No one is obliged to treat you well.  In this world, only your parents would love you unconditionally.  So, if one day, people around you upset you, take it easy.  This happens all the time. You need to get used to it.  Just think about why it happens.   If the root cause is from you, then don’t blame others.  Admit it is your fault and improve next time.   Otherwise, just give yourself a smile and move on.  If you want to be treated nice by others, be merciful.  Always appreciate to those people who offer you help, despite a very minimal help.  A grateful heart keeps you peaceful and calm.   

(9)    Keep a “bright” appearance.

We shouldn’t judge someone by their appearances, but keeping ourselves clean, tidy and nice is absolutely necessary.  You do not have to be extraordinarily beautiful, but you should be an elegant and stylish woman, who possesses some artistic temperament.  Moreover, please take good care of your skin.  A woman with delicate skin often gives good first impression to people.  Knowledge beautifies your inner self.  Appropriate body care beautifies your outlook.  Dress properly to various occasions.  Develop a good taste of lifestyle, food and fashion.  When you are beautiful inside-out, you win people’s heart. 

(10)Do not be too obsessed with success.  Confront failure bravely.

We certainly enjoy the moment of success, but it is often unsustainable.  Success often comes after plenty of failures and hurdles.  Therefore, try to learn from failures.  Make necessary rectifications seriously.  Failure isn’t a fierce monster that cannot be defeated.  Failure actually makes you a stronger and better person if you can bravely confront it.  If you possess this attitude, success should come to you sooner or later.  If unluckily the outcome isn’t what you expect, don’t feel sad because at least you have learnt something throughout the journey.  As I said, you already become stronger and better than before. 

Lastly, life isn't perfect, but after all it is still beautiful in my eyes.  I hope you feel the same, too.

Love,

Your mom